Friday, August 8, 2014

Calm down, anxiety! Jeez.



What the hell is this CHEST pain? Like, seriously, I just woke up and haven't even went to the bathroom yet and my chest hurts.  My arm seems to be going numb, too, but I guess I am lying on it. Ugh, whatever, I have to get the baby changed and in his high hair for breakfast, I reallllly don't have time for cardiac arrest right now. Maybe later. 

Wow, the baby did surprisingly well eating the little dissolvable puffs we got for him, I'm surprised. I really don't like him eating those things, but he hasn't really---oh my god, your choking, he's CHOKING!!!! Come here, bud, Mommy's gonna save you! Just a few good slaps between the shoulder blades and you'll be just fine--aaaaaaaaand now your laughing, he's laughing. Phew. Ok I can exit out of the Emergency Dialer screen on my phone now, I guess.  

These are just small examples of the way my anxious brain functions a lot of the time. Having anxiety sucks and unless you have it, like most things, you won't really understand.  You worry and you worry ALOT and it can get pretty exhausting. I mean, your talking about a woman that can't help but check her child frequently at night to make sure he's breathing and a woman who thinks a simple cold is surely Malaria.  That takes work, man.  Work.  

As embarrassing (yet often comical) as it can be to discuss anxiety, I feel like it isn't taken as seriously as it should be which is why I decided to speak up about it here on my page.  People will tell you to calm down, take deep breaths....it'll be ok. Riiiiiight. Tell that to an anxious person, that's a smart plan.  Let me know how it works out for ya. No, we need distraction, facts, reassurance that what we THINK is going on isn't or at least not to the degree that we are taking it to.  Then maybe we can take those deep breaths.  Maybe.

Anxiety can tie in with other things that can make handling it even more of a challenge.  Hypochondria ( omg, this zit is totally skin cancer) and obsessive compulsions ( wait, I have to drive home and make sure the iron is OFF. So what if I didn't iron anything, don't question me!!) are two anxious provoking woes that I deal with often. Typically, once these crazy thoughts subside, looking at them rationally and realizing how silly and unnecessary that panic attack just was becomes easier somehow. You may even chuckle it it.

Here's the thing: at the end of the day, you just have to laugh at yourself. I mean everyone else is, right? I'm kidding. No, seriously, were they all just talking about me when I walked by? Nope , just being paranoid! Anyway, if you suffer from anxiety, you are not alone and I'm here to tell you that. It's a real disorder and it can feel like sooo many other things are happening during a panic attack ( revert back to possible cardiac arrest mentioned above) which makes it very scary. Although there's typically a reason one gets anxious, we don't always see it coming and it can definitely come at inopportune or even relaxed moments.  Real convenient, right?

If there's people around, my best advice is to dance around laughing manically during an anxiety/panic attack and announce that things should be back to normal in about fifteen minutes. Yeah, no, don't do that. Just chill, think of the people that make you the happiest in this crazy world and force a smile. Imagine them there to calm you down or to tell you something really funny or better yet, call them! If it's a "happy place" that you prefer, by all means go there, even if it's only figuratively speaking. Believe it or not, we CAN control our anxious moments with a little bit of practice and the ability to find a little bit of funny in a not so funny situation ;).