New Year's Hope-A-Lutions

Jeez,  I've been slacking on the blogging! 

The holidays have been busy as well as me trying to finalize my applications for nursing school.  Crazzzzzy.

Anywayyyyy.... I have decided to call all the plans I have for the New Year "hope-a-lutions" because they are things I hope to do.  I'm not gonna sit here and pretend like I always follow through on every plan I have each year because that would be straight bullshit.  I will say, however,  that I always keep trying and always will. 

Without further a do ( is that how you spell that?),  here are my 2015 vows..... 

1. Be Happy: I have to stop worrying so much, it's an exhausting way to live. Gotta tell aggravation and pissy moments to piss off and just smile more. 
Shit,  that reminds me I should probably make a dentist appointment, also. 

2. Lose weight: ehhh, 45 lbs or so? Once again,  I want to be bathing suit ready for summer. Oh and have implants and a tan by then,  too.  No big deal.

3. Eat right: I am NOT going to never have chicken fingers again,  I'm just saying better choices are in order because ya can't always pick the burger over the salad. Well,  you can't always pick the salad over the burger either,  but you get it. 

4. Exercise: I really, really want to be active and enjoy it but typically,  I do not.  I hope to find something I can do that will get me and keep me in shape.  I don't like feeling like I'm going to have a heart attack on the elliptical.  Real downer.

5. Drink less: I love beer and beer loves me.  It likes to sit in my belly and splash around like a joyous little child playing in the bathtub.  It loves me so much,  in fact that it invites its' friends to come hang out... six of them...for a partaaay. Well,  I'm here to tell ya it doesn't take that many beers to bloat you up and stick to your insides. Gotta have less beer parties.

6. Get it done: I like naps and I would choose chillin' over cleanin' any damn day.  It is no question that I need to just get whatever I need done completed instead of saying I'll do it later. 

7. Accept who your friends are: It's sad,  but true,  that over time people you claim to be friends with just aren't anymore.  I'm not talking about the friends you can't seem to coordinate time with simply due to life,  family,  work etc.  That's just the way it goes sometimes.  I'm talking about people that don't bend for you the way you bend for them or people that only want you around when their bored or find you boring if your not bar hopping till 4 am.  Some friends will always be there,  other times you need to find new ones. 

8. Fight Less: My Husband can be a giant D as much as I can be a giant B but we bicker over some dumb shit.  It's annoying and I would love to save my breath for something worth fighting about.  Like what's for friggin' dinner,  for example. 

9. Live in the NOW: I have a bad habit of thinking,  " what if" way too often and fearing an outcome or situation that hasn't even happened.  One moment at a time is the attitude I'm going to try and adopt because,  really,  all we have is right now.

10. Get into nursing school: Yes,  it must happen before I'm 97 years old.

11.  Follow through : I hope to follow through on these hope-a-lutions and set a good example for myself for next year. 

We all know we shouldn't need a new year just to be who we want to be or do what we want to do,  but I do plan to make 2015 a great year all year long.  I hope all my friends and family do the same but if not,  I'll have the beer and shitty food ready!!

CHEERS!

Dealing with Food Addiction-The Struggle is Real

My name is Lauren, and I'm a food-a-holic.
 Whew. Thank God I got that off my chest, it's been EATING away at me for some time now. Haha.

 
Yeah, anyway. All lame jokes aside, I really do have an issue with food. I'm not an overweight woman but I am not a 110 pound woman either. Kinda lost in that weird fifth dimension of whether I'm considered a skinny person or not. I like to call it The Thigh-Light Zone. Ba dum chhhh.

 But really, I have struggled with dieting and exercise for a very, very long time. It's my kangaroo pouch that I can't seem to get rid of, the rest of me I am ok with. The good news is that I usually keep trying one way or another, but the bad news is that I have yet to see the results I want. I know, I'm obviously not trying as hard as I could. It's hella hard for me to give up the salty foods and the fried foods and the dips and the chips even though I know they are doing nothing for my health or waistline. It's truly like I'm a drug addict that feels guilty about using once I am done eating bad food. I mean, do I need some sort of intervention?

 So as if the things I crave aren't bad enough, I over eat. Yup, overeating is the real demon in the situation. It doesn't matter if I am full or not, either, if there is something out on the table or in the breakroom at work that I enjoy, I eat it. It's almost as if I feel like I'm missing out on something if I don't take one of those cookies or have seconds of the mashed potatoes. I suppose this is all a prime example of stress eating, or binge eating, or eating your real feelings or some shit like that, but, whatever it is....the struggle is real.

 So let's examine whether some of the reasons for food addiction would solve or not solve the issue at hand:


 1. Stress Eating: Now why the HELL would someone turn to food when they are stressed out?? Especially if they are stressed out about being overweight or being unhealthy? I suppose the euphoria of a twinkie high or a carb fest would be a quick fix depending on the reason for stress, but at the end of it all...there's quite a bit of irony in the situation! It's like, I eat too many bad things which gives me zero energy to go to the gym. I'm going to sit here and eat this candy bar instead of taking that bike ride. What? I don't get it. If your stressed, try reading a book, or sitting outside, or dancing to some sweet tunes and shaking it off. There's always flicking the person that is stressing you out right in between the eyes or having a stiff drink. I'm just sayin' it could help, I ain't sayin' it's right. Don't judge me.


 2. Binge Eating: Well, if binge eating is anything like binge drinking, and I suspect it is, I can see how this one can make a little sense. You eat well all week, you go for walks, you hit the gym and pump some iron....so screw it! Come Friday, it's the friggin' weekend and I'm gonna have me some cake, pie, and fries! Cheat day, ya'll!! Oh and a big ass, calorie-infested martini. Shit, I can binge eat AND binge drink at the same time!! Now THAT is talent, folks. I totally believe if your going to diet, you should have cheat days or it will result in an epic fail. Maybe try cheating at one out of the three meals instead of all of them? At least that way you get a little satisfaction without completely feeling like you've lost the battle to Captain Cholesterol and Sargent Sugar Pants.

 3. Eating Your Real Feelings: Now, I don't know about this one. I guess you can cover up how depressed you are by eating something comforting, but what about other feelings and emotions? I can tell you right now, if I'm angry? I'm not about to stuff a cheeseburger down my throat with a side of onion rings to deal with it. Can you imagine a pissed off person at a red light next to you screaming at someone on their cell phone while they pop skittles into their mouth or wolf down a foot long?
 " Screw you, A-Hole! I gotta whole bag of candy and some pork, I'm a mad woman!!!!" Bah! that'd be hilarious, though, I'm just sayin'.

 So look, food addiction is real and so is laziness. Yes, we are all busy with work, or school, the kids, or whatnot; but the motto I have been trying repeatedly to live by is if not now, when? Seriously, when are we ( yes, WE, myself included) going to get it together and choose the salad over the chicken fingers ( Mmmm, my fave) and the walk over the nap and the gym over the happy hour? Whoa...well I don't know about skipping the happy hour, but I mean if we don't dedicate ourselves to being healthy and getting to look the way we want to now, then when the hell will we? We won't. It's hard, and I'm here to tell you I'm with ya. I get it. All we can do is keep trying and know that we aren't alone in the food struggle and lazy coma, there are others out there. Tomorrow is a new day. For now...I shall sit and eat my Whoppers in peace as I picture myself by next summer in a tiny, little bikini and a wash board stomach..... It'll happen. Right??.......