Skin to skin, our first moments were forever heart binding. I looked down at you through tears of joy and astonishment and thanked God for such a tiny miracle. Nine months I spent praying your arrival would include ten toes, ten fingers, smooth heart beats, and steady breaths. Every morning I would drive to work with one hand on my belly as I sang to you and gently tap you to the rhythm. I knew where you were toward the late months , but I took my best guess early on. You always responded to my serenades, even if you were only appeasing your dear old Mom.
I cried when you were quiet and laughed when you were playful. I worried often and needed constant reassurance that you were okay whether that be from family, friends, or physicians. Oh, and the ever trusted search engines of endless information. That usually didn't help Mom, too much....
I had so many prayers and wishes for you. I still do now and I always will. I hope you don't mind if I share them with you.....
I pray and wish that you see with beautiful colors, purity, and non-judgemental eyes; remember, son, you never know where someone has been, is now, or will end up. And let's face it, no one has time to spend in the "gray area" of life so we might as well go after the rainbows.
I pray and wish that you hear with patience, understanding, and reasoning. You will not always be right and you must learn to truly grasp the core of what is being presented to you by listening. When you have patience, you understand and when you understand, you can then reason. This, my baby boy, is listening.
I pray and wish that you feel with empathy, compassion, and appreciation. Don't be ashamed to befriend the underdog, cry when you see fit, or forget to enjoy the little things. Sunshine on our faces and air in our lungs are things we all tend to take for granted when it comes to the physicality of feeling; stop and be thankful for it.
I pray and wish that you grow up to be exactly what you dream of and that you do it because you love it. Money is important and money is great but money won't always bring sheer satisfaction. I would rather you be a happy poor man than a man that does work only for the green of it.
Never let anyone make you feel inferior or make you do anything you know is wrong. You are your own person and if you don't do the right thing,quite frankly,no one is going to do it for you.
When you can give, give but don't let anyone take you for granted.When you decide to love and truly love, do it with your whole heart. Don't give up on love or be afraid of it just because it may not work for you the first time. There is no such thing as a perfect person just the person that you still desire when the gloves come off, the river runs dry, and the true colors shine through. Make sure, dear boy, that when you offer your name to a worthy woman that she is the only thing that you see when you picture eternity. Cherish her, respect her, and make her your queen. Love....well love really does make the world go round. Remember that.
Right now, as I write this, you are young. Young enough to still yield to the innocence of this not-so-kind place that we live in yet the place that truly does posess so many special wonders and treasures. You will learn to speak, you will learn to walk, and you will learn to do all of the things that I wish and pray for your life. I will always kiss your boo-boo's, check for monsters under your bed, support you, tell you the truth, and above all...love you with all of my soul. You are my son, my first born, my buddy, my life. If only for a while, I will cherish the days I have right now where you are just a little boy that holds his mother's hand and won't let go.
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