Dealing with Food Addiction-The Struggle is Real

My name is Lauren, and I'm a food-a-holic.
 Whew. Thank God I got that off my chest, it's been EATING away at me for some time now. Haha.

 
Yeah, anyway. All lame jokes aside, I really do have an issue with food. I'm not an overweight woman but I am not a 110 pound woman either. Kinda lost in that weird fifth dimension of whether I'm considered a skinny person or not. I like to call it The Thigh-Light Zone. Ba dum chhhh.

 But really, I have struggled with dieting and exercise for a very, very long time. It's my kangaroo pouch that I can't seem to get rid of, the rest of me I am ok with. The good news is that I usually keep trying one way or another, but the bad news is that I have yet to see the results I want. I know, I'm obviously not trying as hard as I could. It's hella hard for me to give up the salty foods and the fried foods and the dips and the chips even though I know they are doing nothing for my health or waistline. It's truly like I'm a drug addict that feels guilty about using once I am done eating bad food. I mean, do I need some sort of intervention?

 So as if the things I crave aren't bad enough, I over eat. Yup, overeating is the real demon in the situation. It doesn't matter if I am full or not, either, if there is something out on the table or in the breakroom at work that I enjoy, I eat it. It's almost as if I feel like I'm missing out on something if I don't take one of those cookies or have seconds of the mashed potatoes. I suppose this is all a prime example of stress eating, or binge eating, or eating your real feelings or some shit like that, but, whatever it is....the struggle is real.

 So let's examine whether some of the reasons for food addiction would solve or not solve the issue at hand:


 1. Stress Eating: Now why the HELL would someone turn to food when they are stressed out?? Especially if they are stressed out about being overweight or being unhealthy? I suppose the euphoria of a twinkie high or a carb fest would be a quick fix depending on the reason for stress, but at the end of it all...there's quite a bit of irony in the situation! It's like, I eat too many bad things which gives me zero energy to go to the gym. I'm going to sit here and eat this candy bar instead of taking that bike ride. What? I don't get it. If your stressed, try reading a book, or sitting outside, or dancing to some sweet tunes and shaking it off. There's always flicking the person that is stressing you out right in between the eyes or having a stiff drink. I'm just sayin' it could help, I ain't sayin' it's right. Don't judge me.


 2. Binge Eating: Well, if binge eating is anything like binge drinking, and I suspect it is, I can see how this one can make a little sense. You eat well all week, you go for walks, you hit the gym and pump some iron....so screw it! Come Friday, it's the friggin' weekend and I'm gonna have me some cake, pie, and fries! Cheat day, ya'll!! Oh and a big ass, calorie-infested martini. Shit, I can binge eat AND binge drink at the same time!! Now THAT is talent, folks. I totally believe if your going to diet, you should have cheat days or it will result in an epic fail. Maybe try cheating at one out of the three meals instead of all of them? At least that way you get a little satisfaction without completely feeling like you've lost the battle to Captain Cholesterol and Sargent Sugar Pants.

 3. Eating Your Real Feelings: Now, I don't know about this one. I guess you can cover up how depressed you are by eating something comforting, but what about other feelings and emotions? I can tell you right now, if I'm angry? I'm not about to stuff a cheeseburger down my throat with a side of onion rings to deal with it. Can you imagine a pissed off person at a red light next to you screaming at someone on their cell phone while they pop skittles into their mouth or wolf down a foot long?
 " Screw you, A-Hole! I gotta whole bag of candy and some pork, I'm a mad woman!!!!" Bah! that'd be hilarious, though, I'm just sayin'.

 So look, food addiction is real and so is laziness. Yes, we are all busy with work, or school, the kids, or whatnot; but the motto I have been trying repeatedly to live by is if not now, when? Seriously, when are we ( yes, WE, myself included) going to get it together and choose the salad over the chicken fingers ( Mmmm, my fave) and the walk over the nap and the gym over the happy hour? Whoa...well I don't know about skipping the happy hour, but I mean if we don't dedicate ourselves to being healthy and getting to look the way we want to now, then when the hell will we? We won't. It's hard, and I'm here to tell you I'm with ya. I get it. All we can do is keep trying and know that we aren't alone in the food struggle and lazy coma, there are others out there. Tomorrow is a new day. For now...I shall sit and eat my Whoppers in peace as I picture myself by next summer in a tiny, little bikini and a wash board stomach..... It'll happen. Right??.......