Living the Dream!

I love when people say, " Hey, how's it going?" and then we say the ever so popular, " Eh, ya know....living the dream!"
While it usually gets a chuckle or a generic, " Oh, I hear that" response, you sometimes gotta stop and ask yourself, am I living the dream? Like, for real, are you reallllly doing what you've always dreamt about doing or are you settling and doing what you have to do to survive?

 I have been working towards a nursing degree forever. Ok, well, not forever but it feels like it. I have always wanted to assist others on their journey to recovery or be a hand to hold if recovery isn't an option. Between my often odd, yet silly personality and willingness to make a serious situation a little more manageable ( at least momentarily), I figured it would be a fantastic fit for me. I have been working as a nursing assistant for about six years and have dabbled in other healthcare positions on the administrative side over the last 10 years, so I've been in healthcare long enough to know it's where I want to stay. I was even an activities director in a nursing home for a while which was fun but stressful in it's own right....the elderly take Bingo very seriously, even the ones with dementia. They may not know their own name, but they KNOW when it's time for Bingo. Those wheelchairs move extremely fast to chase your ass down if you don't start on time. Truth.

Anyway, I want to be a nurse and I am hoping to work in pediatric oncology one day. I know, pediatric oncology....why would I want to work with sick kids?  It would be totally sad and totally heart breaking.  Indeed, it would be.  I work on an oncology (ish)  floor currently in a hospital and that's sad enough at times let alone CHILDREN with cancer.  The way I see it,  if I can contribute to making a child's recovery or time on this earth a positive experience by lots of laughs,  high fives,  and optimistic reinforcement,  then it is worth it to try.  I say try because as a first time mom to a one- year- old,  I cannot imagine my son ever having a terminal or serious ailment and it's certainly possible that I won't be able to handle such devastation. I would think about my little boy and cry often, I know it.  But.... If God forbid I were ever a parent in that situation,  I would hope that there were good hearted people to take care of my son that actually want to be there regardless of how hard it is. Someone has to be strong for those kids when they, or their parents, need a break to just crumble and not be so strong.

Trying to get into nursing school while having a family and working full time is insanely hard. I started all my core classes in 2011,  finished all but two of them and got engaged in April of 2012, married in October of that year and then found out three months later that I was pregnant! So, needless to say, after all that....I am revisiting my career endeavors and trying to make it finally happen. I'm trying to make it happen for me, yes, but for my family as well; especially my little boy. I want to be able to give him everything he deserves in life even though I know the most important things are love, hugs, kisses, and encouragement. Well, those are most important to me, anyways:).

Recently, I took the TEAS exam which is a standardized test used to get into some nursing schools here in my state.  Taking this test is pretty much the only thing besides availability that is standing in between me and an RN program. Yeah. Glad I studied my ass off for that one and saw pretty much nothing I studied for on the test. Good times. There was actually a point where I was laughing out loud at some of the questions that had absolutely NOTHING to do with nursing. Wait, what about a deers fur in the summer and 4 liquid gasses being poured into a bunson burner with a purple unicorn?  Wtf!?  Ok I made the unicorn part up, but the rest of it was for real. Anyway, I didn't do as worse as I could have but I did not do as well as I need to. I'll be taking it again in a few weeks. 

I imagine paying for school, studying, being a Momma and working will be a lot for my husband and I to adjust to once I finally get into a program ( I'll probably be pushing around 80 years old at this rate), but I have to give it my all. I do love what I do now in the healthcare industry and look forward to enhancing my knowledge and learning the good, the bad, and the ugly of nursing. As a nursing assistant,  I've luckily gotten the opportunity to ask questions and observe the fantastic nurses that I work with so I see all that goes into the role first hand.

So the point to this,  folks,  is do what you love no matter what your age,  no matter what it takes because saying one day that your "living the dream" and actually doing so is hard to come by.  I know becoming a nurse won't be perfect all the time, but nothing is perfect so I'm ok with that.  I just hope to contribute to the welfare of others to the best of my abilities:).