The Logan Chronicles: Up-Sleeping

On today's episode of TLC,  I share my thoughts on my child's new ability to fall asleep just about anywhere.  It's weird.

I think my kid is Narcoleptic.  I'm not 100% sure this is true,  but it has valuable supporting evidence. 

Last week I planned to go next door to visit my friend and had put my son to bed as normal.  I always check on him around,  oh, I'd say 765 times in a very short amount of time, but that night I didn't check him till right before I left the house.  When I crept up the stairs and into his room I could see the top of his head against the corner of the crib.  I found it to be very creepy at first and went further for a better look.

Yep,  there he was: sleeping sitting up against the crib.  Never in my most tired or drunken nights have I ever fallen asleep sitting up.  I suppose you could say I was impressed by this.

Since then,  he has fallen asleep sitting up a few times and it's very cute.  I also find it very odd and I'm like,  ummm is this OK?  I imagine it is,  but it's one of those first time Mom worries where you don't know what the hell is normal and what isn't. 

Either way,  I named these incidences,  " Up-Sleeping".  Don't get jealous of the originality,  now people,  I was born with this witty brain and I can't help it.

Anyway, today, the mother of all up-sleeps occurred.  I was doing my make up just in the next room where I can clearly see my son playing.  Seeing how we had to move all excess furniture ( i. e side tables and rocking chair)  to the other room due to him climbing it all,  there are little spaces of floor and wall on either end of the couch that he hangs out in. 

I heard him whine about something briefly and then it got real quiet.  That always scares me so I got up to  have a peep and found him up-sleeping ....against the wall.  He seriously looked like a drunk little old man that just couldn't make it home from the bar. 

So I think up-sleeping is better than no-sleeping,  right?  I am curious to see where he passes out next and what other new found  abilities we will see. 

 Maybe the ability to do the dishes and laundry?  Nah,  I ain't that lucky. 

Cray Cray Toddler Status

Holy shit.
The toddler phase has commenced.

I love my barely one -year -old son more than anything in this world but, dude, he has recently started to become a little bit of a crazy animal. I know, I know...all kids are crazy animals but I am a new mom and I didn't know they started tantrums and testing your patience quite this early.

We started out this windy ass Sunday by heading to Walmart to get some groceries and a couple other tid bits ( including diapers...9 dollar a bag diapers...Jesus). My son was behaving pretty well minus him deciding he was too cool to sit with his feet through the cart. He just had to sit sideways with one arm up like a grown man watching sports on the couch would do. He was safe and not trying to jump out so we let him do it, whatever. We strolled down several aisles both getting things we needed and checking out things we want to get at some point in the future ( like a really badass, giant TV) when the whining started. No big deal, I gave him a snack and he was happy like he usually is. Low and behold, he began to showcase his crooked smile indicating he was about to do something he shouldn't do, looked me directly in the eyes and threw his snack on the floor.  Immediately following the suicide of the snack, my little guy let out an ever popular, "uh-oh".  Exhibit A of the above noted "trying your patience" bit right there. He knew it was wrong and he knew I wouldn't like it but he wanted to see if he could get away with it. I told him no and not to throw his snacks and took them away for the remainder of the shopping trip. Cue crying.

Once we got home, my husband and I did some couch lounging while browsing on our electronic devices and getting down on the floor and playing with the baby. I decided to push him around on his little toy train as he giggled with glee while we did several laps around the living room. Once mommy was out of breath and decided to stop, his mouth opened wide, his eyes shut and the silent cry before the loud cry took over his face. I felt bad but jeez, buddy, mommy was sweating! We then proceeded to play peek a boo and tickle monster and other silly games all of which he had a zero tolerance for stopping them without crying in disappointment. He would have, indeed, stayed happy if I would have continuously entertained him!

The rest if the day was just a further affirmation that my little man is on his way to getting into absolutely everything regardless of whether he could get hurt or whether something could get ruined or broken. Turning my back for one moment or not being within his reach allowed him to grab and toss my iPad and cell phone, pull and bend the curtain rod ( luckily we could bend it back!), and let's not mention the 700 trips on and off the couch to try and sneak a sip or a grab of my seltzer water. The part I find the hardest is that even though you have to tell your kids no and you need to redirect them away from doing things they shouldn't, they are so friggin cute that it makes it hard to stay upset for long!

Oye.

It's that time of empty bottles being thrown, food being spit out, and Cheerios ending up in your hair, that is for certain. I knew these days were coming, but I think all you can really do is buckle up for the ride!!

15 Things a Mother Cant Deny!!

Becoming a parent is a blessing, it's a true story. So many things change and most of those changes are actually quite comical. You find yourself doing things in a totally different way and thinking in a totally different sequence. Now that I'm a Mom, naturally, some of the following have come into play, I'm sure some can relate:

1. I know every theme song to every kids show on every kids network. I sing them periodically throughout the day. At really inopportune times, might I add, like in the beer aisle in the grocery store.
2. I instantaneously lick my thumb and wipe my child's caked up face JUST like my mother used to do. Ugh, seriously.
3. Peek a boo has become such a part of my daily routine I often end up playing it with myself in the mirror while I do my make up.
4. Baby talk and really odd baby pet names have made their way into everyday conversation with adults such as my husband and co-workers.
5. I have more diapers in my purse then I do blush or lipstick.
6. Diaper wipes are my new go-to item for everything in my home. Sinks, in lieu of toilet paper, make up remover, counters....I love the crap out of those things!
7. I can now shampoo, wash up and shave in 2.5 seconds flat.
8. I clap and say YAYYYYYY not only when my son does something new or correctly but also when I do something new or correctly.
9. My idea of a Friday night on the town is out to Wal-Mart to get Desitin and a gallon of milk. I usually dress up for that.
10. I've learned to sleep in a hyper aware state and know when my son makes any sort of movement.  It's kinda ninja-esque.
11. I sometimes still wear my nursing bra even though I'm no longer breastfeeding. Comfort trumps sexy most days.
12.  Speaking of sexy,  my stretch marks are - - nope,  that's the end of that sentence.  Stretch marks. 
13. Sometimes laughing too hard has its consequences.  You either get that one or you don't. 
14. I am now pretty sure I could enter a one handed diaper changing contest if it ever became a thing. Is that thing? It should be a thing.

15. I perform the lift -and -smell my son's bum routine without a seconds thought regardless of where I am or who I'm around.

Oh man. These are only a few of the things I've noted since being a mom among the million. Like I said...I find most of these adjustments funny and I am excited to see all the other adaptations that pop up along the way!

Wishes for my Baby Boy

MY BABY BOY

07/13/2014

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Skin to skin, our first moments were forever heart binding. I looked down at you through tears of joy and astonishment and thanked God for such a tiny miracle. Nine months I spent praying your arrival would include ten toes, ten fingers, smooth heart beats, and steady breaths. Every morning I would drive to work with one hand on my belly as I sang to you and gently tap you to the rhythm. I knew where you were toward the late months , but I took my best guess early on. You always responded to my serenades, even if you were only appeasing your dear old Mom.

I cried when you were quiet and laughed when you were playful. I worried often and needed constant reassurance that you were okay whether that be from family, friends, or physicians. Oh, and the ever trusted search engines of endless information. That usually didn't help Mom, too much....

I had so many prayers and wishes for you. I still do now and I always will. I hope you don't mind if I share them with you.....

I pray and wish that you see with beautiful colors, purity, and non-judgemental eyes; remember, son, you never know where someone has been, is now, or will end up. And let's face it, no one has time to spend in the "gray area" of life so we might as well go after the rainbows.

I pray and wish that you hear with patience, understanding, and reasoning. You will not always be right and you must learn to truly grasp the core of what is being presented to you by listening. When you have patience, you understand and when you understand, you can then reason. This, my baby boy, is listening.

I pray and wish that you feel with empathy, compassion, and appreciation. Don't be ashamed to befriend the underdog, cry when you see fit, or forget to enjoy the little things. Sunshine on our faces and air in our lungs are things we all tend to take for granted when it comes to the physicality of feeling; stop and be thankful for it.

I pray and wish that you grow up to be exactly what you dream of and that you do it because you love it. Money is important and money is great but money won't always bring sheer satisfaction. I would rather you be a happy poor man than a man that does work only for the green of it.

Never let anyone make you feel inferior or make you do anything you know is wrong. You are your own person and if you don't do the right thing,quite frankly,no one is going to do it for you.

When you can give, give but don't let anyone take you for granted.When you decide to love and truly love, do it with your whole heart. Don't give up on love or be afraid of it just because it may not work for you the first time. There is no such thing as a perfect person just the person that you still desire when the gloves come off, the river runs dry, and the true colors shine through. Make sure, dear boy, that when you offer your name to a worthy woman that she is the only thing that you see when you picture eternity. Cherish her, respect her, and make her your queen. Love....well love really does make the world go round. Remember that.

Right now, as I write this, you are young. Young enough to still yield to the innocence of this not-so-kind place that we live in yet the place that truly does posess so many special wonders and treasures. You will learn to speak, you will learn to walk, and you will learn to do all of the things that I wish and pray for your life. I will always kiss your boo-boo's, check for monsters under your bed, support you, tell you the truth, and above all...love you with all of my soul. You are my son, my first born, my buddy, my life. If only for a while, I will cherish the days I have right now where you are just a little boy that holds his mother's hand and won't let go.