Now I'm well aware there is a lot of great, good, and fantastic that floats around in this world, but there's also things that make you want to take a cheese grater to your skin.
The inspiration to this lovely array of items was the fact that I just stubbed my toes on my son's highchair. Not just regular old stubbed, but the kind where something goes in between your friggin' toes!!!
My first thought once I stopped hopping on one foot around the kitchen was, "Holy shit, this SUCKS!" Alas, a light bulb appeared above my head and I got the bright idea to write my frustrations down.
So here we go, suck ass things, incidents and people, I acknowledge your sucky-ness:
1. CANCER.
2. People that hurt children.
3. Burning your tongue.
4. Biting your tongue (physically and figuratively).
5. Spilling food on your new shirt.
6. Running out of beer.
7. Last call.
8. No toilet paper while on the toilet.
9. People that ride your ass then pass you, get in front of you, and go slow.
10. Snobs.
11. STUBBING YOUR TOE('S).
12. No parking spots at the beach.
13. Cramps.
14. When you hold the door for some jack wagon and they don't say thank you.
15. Eating something you really didn't want but you were starving.
16. Anything that greets you with, "SOLD OUT".
17. Poverty.
18. Blowing a headlight out.
19. People that slam on their brakes because a cop has someone pulled over.
20. People that text back " K" .
21. People that don't text back at all. Asses!
22. When someone is in the bathroom and you reallllly gotta go.
23. Hangovers.
24. Pumping gas in the winter.
25. Rain on vacation.
26. When your cell phone dies and you have no charger.
27. Paper cuts.
28. When your fingernail rips halfway down.
29. Charlie Horses.
30. People that don't use their blinker.
31. When your clothes don't dry all the way and your in a rush.
32. Puking.
33. Fake people.
34. Judgemental people.
35. Putting jeans on when you just took a shower.
36. Waiting in line.
37. Stepping on an earring.
38. Having a high heel break.
39. Admitting your wrong.
40. Rolling your ankle.
41. Spitting while talking to someone.
42. Forgetting someone's name when they remember yours.
43. Feeling overly full.
44. Anxiety.
45. Salivating to eat leftovers only to find someone else in the house ate them. Wtf.
46. Flat tires.
47. Who am I kidding, ALL car problems.
48. Break ups.
49. War.
50. Love.
51. False advertising.
52. Tripping over nothing while walking . And people see.
53. Living paycheck to paycheck.
54. Having an itch in the middle of your back.
55. Cutting the cheese in an inappropriate place.
56. Having to grow up.
57. Getting popcorn stuck in your teeth.
58. Saying goodbye.
59. Funerals :*(.
60. When your about to jam out and the song skips.
61. When your child/children don't feel well.
62. Dropping your cell phone.
63. Forgetting to put on an oven mitt whilst removing food from the oven.
64. Messed up food deliveries.
65. Running into someone you don't want to see.
66. No sleep.
67. Missing patches of hair when you shave.
68. Shoveling snow.
69. Heartburn.
70. The inability to use chopsticks.
71. Running out of Toothpaste. Or Dish soap, or milk, or diapers, or sugar....yeah- running out.
72. Hammering your thumb.
73. Banging your " funny bone".
74. Liars.
75. Haters.
76. Spiders.
77. Locking your keys in your car.
78. Going to the DMV.
79. Stains that don't come out.
80. Pain.
We shouldn't focus on the suck ass things in life as if they're important in the grand scheme of things. It is, however, sometimes therapeutic to point them out and even laugh at some of them.
When life gets you annoyed and pissed and confused...try writing your own suck ass list for your own viewing enjoyment!!
Till next time....
Xoxo :)
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