Living the Dream!

I love when people say, " Hey, how's it going?" and then we say the ever so popular, " Eh, ya know....living the dream!"
While it usually gets a chuckle or a generic, " Oh, I hear that" response, you sometimes gotta stop and ask yourself, am I living the dream? Like, for real, are you reallllly doing what you've always dreamt about doing or are you settling and doing what you have to do to survive?

 I have been working towards a nursing degree forever. Ok, well, not forever but it feels like it. I have always wanted to assist others on their journey to recovery or be a hand to hold if recovery isn't an option. Between my often odd, yet silly personality and willingness to make a serious situation a little more manageable ( at least momentarily), I figured it would be a fantastic fit for me. I have been working as a nursing assistant for about six years and have dabbled in other healthcare positions on the administrative side over the last 10 years, so I've been in healthcare long enough to know it's where I want to stay. I was even an activities director in a nursing home for a while which was fun but stressful in it's own right....the elderly take Bingo very seriously, even the ones with dementia. They may not know their own name, but they KNOW when it's time for Bingo. Those wheelchairs move extremely fast to chase your ass down if you don't start on time. Truth.

Anyway, I want to be a nurse and I am hoping to work in pediatric oncology one day. I know, pediatric oncology....why would I want to work with sick kids?  It would be totally sad and totally heart breaking.  Indeed, it would be.  I work on an oncology (ish)  floor currently in a hospital and that's sad enough at times let alone CHILDREN with cancer.  The way I see it,  if I can contribute to making a child's recovery or time on this earth a positive experience by lots of laughs,  high fives,  and optimistic reinforcement,  then it is worth it to try.  I say try because as a first time mom to a one- year- old,  I cannot imagine my son ever having a terminal or serious ailment and it's certainly possible that I won't be able to handle such devastation. I would think about my little boy and cry often, I know it.  But.... If God forbid I were ever a parent in that situation,  I would hope that there were good hearted people to take care of my son that actually want to be there regardless of how hard it is. Someone has to be strong for those kids when they, or their parents, need a break to just crumble and not be so strong.

Trying to get into nursing school while having a family and working full time is insanely hard. I started all my core classes in 2011,  finished all but two of them and got engaged in April of 2012, married in October of that year and then found out three months later that I was pregnant! So, needless to say, after all that....I am revisiting my career endeavors and trying to make it finally happen. I'm trying to make it happen for me, yes, but for my family as well; especially my little boy. I want to be able to give him everything he deserves in life even though I know the most important things are love, hugs, kisses, and encouragement. Well, those are most important to me, anyways:).

Recently, I took the TEAS exam which is a standardized test used to get into some nursing schools here in my state.  Taking this test is pretty much the only thing besides availability that is standing in between me and an RN program. Yeah. Glad I studied my ass off for that one and saw pretty much nothing I studied for on the test. Good times. There was actually a point where I was laughing out loud at some of the questions that had absolutely NOTHING to do with nursing. Wait, what about a deers fur in the summer and 4 liquid gasses being poured into a bunson burner with a purple unicorn?  Wtf!?  Ok I made the unicorn part up, but the rest of it was for real. Anyway, I didn't do as worse as I could have but I did not do as well as I need to. I'll be taking it again in a few weeks. 

I imagine paying for school, studying, being a Momma and working will be a lot for my husband and I to adjust to once I finally get into a program ( I'll probably be pushing around 80 years old at this rate), but I have to give it my all. I do love what I do now in the healthcare industry and look forward to enhancing my knowledge and learning the good, the bad, and the ugly of nursing. As a nursing assistant,  I've luckily gotten the opportunity to ask questions and observe the fantastic nurses that I work with so I see all that goes into the role first hand.

So the point to this,  folks,  is do what you love no matter what your age,  no matter what it takes because saying one day that your "living the dream" and actually doing so is hard to come by.  I know becoming a nurse won't be perfect all the time, but nothing is perfect so I'm ok with that.  I just hope to contribute to the welfare of others to the best of my abilities:).

Tip of the Day:

"If not now,  when?"

Courtesy of my food addiction post,  I encourage myself and others to ask this question whenever there is something your afraid to do or something you keep putting off.  We aren't getting any younger,  people. Do it NOW!  :)

Dealing with Food Addiction-The Struggle is Real

My name is Lauren, and I'm a food-a-holic.
 Whew. Thank God I got that off my chest, it's been EATING away at me for some time now. Haha.

 
Yeah, anyway. All lame jokes aside, I really do have an issue with food. I'm not an overweight woman but I am not a 110 pound woman either. Kinda lost in that weird fifth dimension of whether I'm considered a skinny person or not. I like to call it The Thigh-Light Zone. Ba dum chhhh.

 But really, I have struggled with dieting and exercise for a very, very long time. It's my kangaroo pouch that I can't seem to get rid of, the rest of me I am ok with. The good news is that I usually keep trying one way or another, but the bad news is that I have yet to see the results I want. I know, I'm obviously not trying as hard as I could. It's hella hard for me to give up the salty foods and the fried foods and the dips and the chips even though I know they are doing nothing for my health or waistline. It's truly like I'm a drug addict that feels guilty about using once I am done eating bad food. I mean, do I need some sort of intervention?

 So as if the things I crave aren't bad enough, I over eat. Yup, overeating is the real demon in the situation. It doesn't matter if I am full or not, either, if there is something out on the table or in the breakroom at work that I enjoy, I eat it. It's almost as if I feel like I'm missing out on something if I don't take one of those cookies or have seconds of the mashed potatoes. I suppose this is all a prime example of stress eating, or binge eating, or eating your real feelings or some shit like that, but, whatever it is....the struggle is real.

 So let's examine whether some of the reasons for food addiction would solve or not solve the issue at hand:


 1. Stress Eating: Now why the HELL would someone turn to food when they are stressed out?? Especially if they are stressed out about being overweight or being unhealthy? I suppose the euphoria of a twinkie high or a carb fest would be a quick fix depending on the reason for stress, but at the end of it all...there's quite a bit of irony in the situation! It's like, I eat too many bad things which gives me zero energy to go to the gym. I'm going to sit here and eat this candy bar instead of taking that bike ride. What? I don't get it. If your stressed, try reading a book, or sitting outside, or dancing to some sweet tunes and shaking it off. There's always flicking the person that is stressing you out right in between the eyes or having a stiff drink. I'm just sayin' it could help, I ain't sayin' it's right. Don't judge me.


 2. Binge Eating: Well, if binge eating is anything like binge drinking, and I suspect it is, I can see how this one can make a little sense. You eat well all week, you go for walks, you hit the gym and pump some iron....so screw it! Come Friday, it's the friggin' weekend and I'm gonna have me some cake, pie, and fries! Cheat day, ya'll!! Oh and a big ass, calorie-infested martini. Shit, I can binge eat AND binge drink at the same time!! Now THAT is talent, folks. I totally believe if your going to diet, you should have cheat days or it will result in an epic fail. Maybe try cheating at one out of the three meals instead of all of them? At least that way you get a little satisfaction without completely feeling like you've lost the battle to Captain Cholesterol and Sargent Sugar Pants.

 3. Eating Your Real Feelings: Now, I don't know about this one. I guess you can cover up how depressed you are by eating something comforting, but what about other feelings and emotions? I can tell you right now, if I'm angry? I'm not about to stuff a cheeseburger down my throat with a side of onion rings to deal with it. Can you imagine a pissed off person at a red light next to you screaming at someone on their cell phone while they pop skittles into their mouth or wolf down a foot long?
 " Screw you, A-Hole! I gotta whole bag of candy and some pork, I'm a mad woman!!!!" Bah! that'd be hilarious, though, I'm just sayin'.

 So look, food addiction is real and so is laziness. Yes, we are all busy with work, or school, the kids, or whatnot; but the motto I have been trying repeatedly to live by is if not now, when? Seriously, when are we ( yes, WE, myself included) going to get it together and choose the salad over the chicken fingers ( Mmmm, my fave) and the walk over the nap and the gym over the happy hour? Whoa...well I don't know about skipping the happy hour, but I mean if we don't dedicate ourselves to being healthy and getting to look the way we want to now, then when the hell will we? We won't. It's hard, and I'm here to tell you I'm with ya. I get it. All we can do is keep trying and know that we aren't alone in the food struggle and lazy coma, there are others out there. Tomorrow is a new day. For now...I shall sit and eat my Whoppers in peace as I picture myself by next summer in a tiny, little bikini and a wash board stomach..... It'll happen. Right??.......

Cray Cray Toddler Status

Holy shit.
The toddler phase has commenced.

I love my barely one -year -old son more than anything in this world but, dude, he has recently started to become a little bit of a crazy animal. I know, I know...all kids are crazy animals but I am a new mom and I didn't know they started tantrums and testing your patience quite this early.

We started out this windy ass Sunday by heading to Walmart to get some groceries and a couple other tid bits ( including diapers...9 dollar a bag diapers...Jesus). My son was behaving pretty well minus him deciding he was too cool to sit with his feet through the cart. He just had to sit sideways with one arm up like a grown man watching sports on the couch would do. He was safe and not trying to jump out so we let him do it, whatever. We strolled down several aisles both getting things we needed and checking out things we want to get at some point in the future ( like a really badass, giant TV) when the whining started. No big deal, I gave him a snack and he was happy like he usually is. Low and behold, he began to showcase his crooked smile indicating he was about to do something he shouldn't do, looked me directly in the eyes and threw his snack on the floor.  Immediately following the suicide of the snack, my little guy let out an ever popular, "uh-oh".  Exhibit A of the above noted "trying your patience" bit right there. He knew it was wrong and he knew I wouldn't like it but he wanted to see if he could get away with it. I told him no and not to throw his snacks and took them away for the remainder of the shopping trip. Cue crying.

Once we got home, my husband and I did some couch lounging while browsing on our electronic devices and getting down on the floor and playing with the baby. I decided to push him around on his little toy train as he giggled with glee while we did several laps around the living room. Once mommy was out of breath and decided to stop, his mouth opened wide, his eyes shut and the silent cry before the loud cry took over his face. I felt bad but jeez, buddy, mommy was sweating! We then proceeded to play peek a boo and tickle monster and other silly games all of which he had a zero tolerance for stopping them without crying in disappointment. He would have, indeed, stayed happy if I would have continuously entertained him!

The rest if the day was just a further affirmation that my little man is on his way to getting into absolutely everything regardless of whether he could get hurt or whether something could get ruined or broken. Turning my back for one moment or not being within his reach allowed him to grab and toss my iPad and cell phone, pull and bend the curtain rod ( luckily we could bend it back!), and let's not mention the 700 trips on and off the couch to try and sneak a sip or a grab of my seltzer water. The part I find the hardest is that even though you have to tell your kids no and you need to redirect them away from doing things they shouldn't, they are so friggin cute that it makes it hard to stay upset for long!

Oye.

It's that time of empty bottles being thrown, food being spit out, and Cheerios ending up in your hair, that is for certain. I knew these days were coming, but I think all you can really do is buckle up for the ride!!

The Variations of Life and Lauren: 15 Things a Mother Cant Deny!!

The Variations of Life and Lauren: 15 Things a Mother Cant Deny!!: Becoming a parent is a blessing, it's a true story. So many things change and most of those changes are actually quite comical. You fin...

15 Things a Mother Cant Deny!!

Becoming a parent is a blessing, it's a true story. So many things change and most of those changes are actually quite comical. You find yourself doing things in a totally different way and thinking in a totally different sequence. Now that I'm a Mom, naturally, some of the following have come into play, I'm sure some can relate:

1. I know every theme song to every kids show on every kids network. I sing them periodically throughout the day. At really inopportune times, might I add, like in the beer aisle in the grocery store.
2. I instantaneously lick my thumb and wipe my child's caked up face JUST like my mother used to do. Ugh, seriously.
3. Peek a boo has become such a part of my daily routine I often end up playing it with myself in the mirror while I do my make up.
4. Baby talk and really odd baby pet names have made their way into everyday conversation with adults such as my husband and co-workers.
5. I have more diapers in my purse then I do blush or lipstick.
6. Diaper wipes are my new go-to item for everything in my home. Sinks, in lieu of toilet paper, make up remover, counters....I love the crap out of those things!
7. I can now shampoo, wash up and shave in 2.5 seconds flat.
8. I clap and say YAYYYYYY not only when my son does something new or correctly but also when I do something new or correctly.
9. My idea of a Friday night on the town is out to Wal-Mart to get Desitin and a gallon of milk. I usually dress up for that.
10. I've learned to sleep in a hyper aware state and know when my son makes any sort of movement.  It's kinda ninja-esque.
11. I sometimes still wear my nursing bra even though I'm no longer breastfeeding. Comfort trumps sexy most days.
12.  Speaking of sexy,  my stretch marks are - - nope,  that's the end of that sentence.  Stretch marks. 
13. Sometimes laughing too hard has its consequences.  You either get that one or you don't. 
14. I am now pretty sure I could enter a one handed diaper changing contest if it ever became a thing. Is that thing? It should be a thing.

15. I perform the lift -and -smell my son's bum routine without a seconds thought regardless of where I am or who I'm around.

Oh man. These are only a few of the things I've noted since being a mom among the million. Like I said...I find most of these adjustments funny and I am excited to see all the other adaptations that pop up along the way!

And tonight, I return.

I love writing and I love reading other people's writing,  but let's face it :sometimes we don't have time to read or write.  Well,  besides writing checks and reading bills,  that is. We moved in the beginning of September and I have been completely and totally preoccupied with getting our new place together.  Not there yet,  by any means,  but I'm finally in a place where the hobbies I enjoy are creeping their way back into my routine.  Thus blogging!  Yay! 
Anyway, lots to discuss but for now I just wanted to acknowledge my time away and announce I will be resuming my random posts effective immediately for your reading pleasure!
Now off to catch some zzz's as I did not get to nap today.  Ha!  How old am I again??